Backpacker Would Hate to See Anything Happen to Nelson Mandela, But ...

Toronto, Canada (Backpacker Press) -- Traveler Phil Naglio, 34, said Sunday that if Nelson Mandela is going to die, which he of course would hate to see happen, he might as well go ahead and wait until Phil is visiting South Africa in April. He addressed his friends half-buzzed at happy hour after seeing news reports of Mr. Mandela spending the night in the hospital last week.

“Can you even imagine for a second how amazing his funeral will be? I mean, the whole country will come to a literal standstill! You know Obama & David Beckham will come, heck I bet even Angelina Jolie will be there!” Phil also said that “I have the utmost respect for Mr. Mandela and what he has accomplished during his life and certainly after staring down Apartheid and surviving his lengthy jail sentence, holding on ’til April is no big deal, right? But, of course I wish him all the best towards a speedy recovery and don’t want to even think about his funeral for many, many years.”

Halfway through beer number four though, he added “just the thought of being stranded at the airport because all the taxi drivers will be at home mourning, having to walk to town while almost dying of dehydration, then watching the funeral on dusty TV sets through closed storefront windows gives me the chills. It’s honestly about as authentic an experience a backpacker can get!”

Phil further explained that he would love to see a more authentic side of South Africa during his visit, and seeing the country observe multiple moments of silence during his visit would be just the thing he is looking for. “I can’t wait to stand there and pretend like this meant half as much to me as it did the locals, then snap pictures of them crying for my blog when they aren’t looking.”

Phil then creepily re-iterated that “I would hate for anything to happen to Mr. Mandela after all he has done for the people of South Africa, but since I did just see Invictus last year, it’s fresh in my memory and I think his death would mean a lot more to me now.”

Naglio then finished his beer and headed to the bathroom while declaring “but I probably won’t be that lucky. Just like when my summer semester in London ended one measly week before Princess Diana died!”